Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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