Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
