Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
