Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
