I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Someone signed my nipple.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
