You're so nebulous sometimes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
