so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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