I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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