We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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