i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
