He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
