Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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