fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
