it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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