Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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