At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
