I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
