I accidentally burped into my bong.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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