I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
