redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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