exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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