If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
