His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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