That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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