sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Farmville is her only friend.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
