this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
