Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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