my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
