do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
