i don't like sucking hair
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
