I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
