We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
