I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
