My brain says no but my pants say off.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
