Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
