Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
