Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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