D3 body, D1 cock
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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