if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
