Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drunk is not a location!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
