Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
