I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
