We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Oh god it's open bar.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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