She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
