ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
