guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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