I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
