where does the pee come out of this thing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize