I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
