I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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