come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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