he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
