I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
