Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The adults are the big ones right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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