If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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