Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
