Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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