kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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