im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
