My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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