Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This is my gift to your gina
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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