he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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