i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
mondays should just be called national damage control day
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
