i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
