there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
