now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
