Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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