I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
