I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
